Stink Bombs?
by Luxuria Vanagloria Azzarox
Summary: Crap, my brain's in sleep mode...Can't make a proper summary...Sorry, guys! A bit of OOC and OC...This is not yaoi, though I wanted it to be...


"SOLDIER First Class General Zephyr, reporting for duty, sir!"

Lazard looked at the SOLDIER up and down. She was exactly what Professor Hojo had described.

"You're exactly the spitting image of-"

"Sephiroth, Director?"

Lazard was taken aback by Zephyr's question. Of course, she knew. She was like Sephiroth's female version. Except, from Zephyr's attitude, maybe her skills because Sephiroth's skills were incomparable to any SOLDIER.

"Director Lazard, it would please me if you call me Eve, sir. I don't want anyone to know about my relation to the General, sir."

"You are from the Storm SOLDIER Facility in Sector 0, correct?"

Zephyr nodded slowly.

"Is there something wrong, Director?"

Lazard looked at Zephyr and contemplated on whether he should tell her.

"Well, Director, is there something you want to tell me?"

Zephyr was getting apprehensive and impatient but she was mentally prepared for this, thanks to the Directress of the Storm SOLDIER, Lucia Deusericus, Lazard's older sister.

"Well, I've invited the General, Genesis, Angeal and Zack, since they are one of the remarkable Firsts."

"I see, well, Director, your sister says hello."

Lazard cracked a smile at what Zephyr had said. He knew his sister was the Directress of the Storm SOLDIER and was the one who usually trained some of the first batch of the Storm SOLDIER project.

"Lucia has never changed, hasn't she?"

Zephyr smiled knowingly. She was about to tell the Director to postpone the meeting when the door to the Briefing Room opened. She turned around to see the three legendary SOLDIERS and the Puppy, as the Directress fondly called.

"Ah, I'm glad the four of you are here."

Zephyr inwardly smirked at the change of Lazard's cheerful voice. She had, what her fellow Storm SOLDIERs called, "Seph/Zeph Face", otherwise known as her stoic face, since she and her (unknowing) brother have the same nickname though they have different spellings.

"Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, and Zack, I introduce to you SOLDIER First Class Eve."

Zephyr kept her stoic face on but she was really trying hard not to laugh at their reaction. Sephiroth had raised one delicate eyebrow, Genesis had dropped his LOVELESS book and was gaping like a fish, Angeal also had the same reaction as Genesis and Zack, well, his reaction was really…weird. He took it naturally as if having a female SOLDIER introduced to him was normal, especially a First Class at that.

"Nice seeing you again, Eve."

The three SOLDIERS and Lazard looked at Zack as if he told everyone that he wasn't the one who pulled a prank on Sephiroth and wreak havoc on the SOLDIER floor because of stealing Masamune from said SOLDIER's office, which, by the way, wasn't true.

"Heya, Zack. How's your SOLDIER life?"

Angeal raised an eyebrow at this. How in the world would Zack know Eve?

"Fine, Eve, but kinda boring. How was the vacation to Gongaga?"

Zephyr smiled at Zack's question. It wasn't really a vacation just an old friend visiting an old friend. Zack and Zephyr were childhood best friends until, of course, Zack ran away to become SOLDIER and Zephyr moved to Sector 0 in Midgar. They last saw each other a couple of weeks ago after Zephyr arrived from Gongaga and Zack was taking his day off from a mission well done.

"Fine, your parents said hi, by the way. Oh, and before I forget, here."

Zephyr threw Zack a glowing blackish blue materia. Zack grinned.

"Gee, thanks, Eve. Tell Star I said hi and thanks for this."

"I already did Zack."

Zack laughed and looked at the three gaping (minus Sephiroth because he would never gape) SOLDIERs and Director.

"What? Eve's my friend and the only one who can understand and know me."

"Besides Star Storm, Zack."

Zack nodded and hid the material in his pocket. The three (Angeal, Genesis and Lazard) looked at the two as if they had gone mad.

Zephyr smiled and nodded towards the three SOLDIERs.

"Pleased to meet you, Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal."

And with that, the mysterious SOLDIER First Class Eve went out of the Briefing Room with Zack in tow.

"Director, who was that?"

Genesis apprehensively asked. Lazard raised his eyebrow at this.

"That was Eve, SOLDIER First Class General, just like Sephiroth."

"Are you serious, Lazard?"

That was a first from Angeal. Lazard inwardly grinned. Yep, those talks with Lucia over the phone worked.

"Yes. And if any of you want to spar with her now, I suggest postponing it if you don't want to be in the infirmary for six months."

"Oh? And why is that, Lazard?"

Sephiroth looked as if he was ready to pounce on Lazard if he answers the question wrong.

"Simple. Eve is known to be brutal when she is tired from traveling. I've heard and seen some of her victims in the Wutai war when she arrived at the base and the Wutaians decided to attack at that time. Some were able to walk after 3 years of intensive therapy and others were… unfortunate, so to speak."

Sephiroth looked at Lazard disbelievingly. The other two were looking at the door, as if they wanted to be out of there now, before Sephiroth unleashes Masamune on Lazard.

"It is the truth. You might as well go to the infirmary to confirm some of her victims. Now, go and rest. You are dismissed."

The three then went out of the Briefing Room when they heard some huge explosions outside. They hurriedly went out only to see some huge loud speakers attached to the pillars of the SOLDIER floor. There was some giggling on whoever connected their mic to the loud speakers.

"Hey, Zack, mind telling me what happened?"

Kunsel looked at his friend and Eve, who was at the moment smiling as if there was something good that's going to happen in there. Zack grinned and then ruffled the Cloud's head.

"Just enjoy the show guys. Here we go!"

Zack pressed a red button on a remote control shaped thing and Eve began the countdown.

"5…4…3…2…1…and…"

BOOM. A large explosion was heard throughout the Shinra building and there was a lot of smoke where the three legendary SOLDIERs were gathered.

"Ha! I never knew this could work. It's time to call in a Turk!"

Zack then whistled as the smoke began to dissipate. Eve fox whistled and looked at the disarray they call the Three Legendary SOLDIERs.

"Hmmm…Let's go, guys. I'm hungry. My treat."

Eve stretched and, along with the her friends, walked out of the Shinra building, leaving the others to try and figure out who would have tried to put stink bombs in each of the First Class SOLDIERs' pockets. Not even Zack, the infamous prankster, could think of that. Not because he was mad at all but he wouldn't dare since he was as bad as an elephant getting through the forest without making a noise. That's pretty much impossible for the Puppy to do. So, who would dare do that to the three infamous First Classes?

"RENO!"

All three SOLDIERs then went to the Turks' Supervisor Office, in other words, Tseng's (a very good friend of Eve, by the way) office. They all stormed in and nearly unhinging the door, causing Tseng to point his gun at them.

"What the heck are you doing in my office?"

Angeal, who was probably the only sane one at the moment (since Genesis was so furious that his favorite coat was smudged with a green substance he really didn't want to know the name of and Sephiroth was just plain…evil (deathly aura-looking-like-someone-ready-to-kill-somebody-if-they-ever-try-to-get-in-his-way), apologized first to Tseng then explained the situation.

"So, have you seen Reno anywhere, Tseng?"

Tseng shook his head and lowered his gun.

"Unfortunately, no, I haven't seen that prankster since yesterday. He was muttering about someone named Raine and that he'd be dead for sure if we didn't let him have a two-day off. He looked so desperate when he asked me for it and he actually jumped out of his skin when his phone rang."

The three all raised their eyebrows at this. Who would've caused this ironic attitude of Zack's fellow prankster?

"That would probably be his sister, Raine Storm. From the looks of it, you all know about the Storm SOLDIER Project in Sector 0 so I should leave it to the three of you to fully understand the situation. Well then, see ya!"

Cissnei waved her hand as she walked past the office. The four inside the room looked at her as if she was had grown another head or two, which, by the way, was possible, IF YOU HAD A RESIDENT EVIL SCIENTIST who always cackled and muttered incoherent but scary things.

"So it would seem that Zack knows two Storm SOLDIER operatives and your underling has a sister who is also a Storm SOLDIER."

The three gaped at Sephiroth, whom they have known to be so hot headed when it comes to these pranks, explain so logically and was actually acting civilized and disciplined (though no one would dare admit it nor tell the General himself) about the situation.

"The only possible thing the three of you can do is to look for Eve Storm and ask her about it. Though, I highly doubt it if she answers you truthfully."

Tseng had muttered the last part and luckily, for him, the three didn't hear that since they were out of the door already, ready to look for the Storm General herself.

'I hope the three of you know what you have gotten yourselves into. Those Storm SOLDIERs can be so tricky at times that I, myself, think that they were trained by someone far more superior than that Dr. Hojo (*cough* evil scientist *cough*).'


End file.
